Here is a list of the five fan bases that are to be put on probation, so to speak, by the commissioners that be, here at 3rd and Pitta.
1. Boston Red Sox fans- This is certainly not the first time I have made mention of their appalling behavior and will definitely not be the last. The idea that they have somehow been tremendously unfortunate because the hated rival Yankees have nearly unlimited resources to spend each year is simply a lie. Year in and year out the Red Sox have the 2nd highest payroll, behind only their nemesis to the south. Also, how about the fact that people jumped on the bandwagon simply for their hatred of the Yankees. That was reasonable back in the 90’s and earlier this decade when the Yankees were piling up championships one after another. But with the drought, so to speak, that the Yankees have suffered as of late, it is preposterous to continue to make such an argument. So, enough is enough Red Sox fans both in Boston and around the states. Shame on you!
2. Phoenix Suns fans- I share this begrudgingly because I myself am a devoted fan of the franchise since the days of Sir Charles. However, despite my loyalties to the team, I would be remissed if I held back my feelings regarding their despicable deeds. Yes, the ownership is terrible and has ruined the franchise by trading draft picks and making poor financial decisions. Yes, the referees, injuries, ridiculous suspensions, and just plain bad luck halted one of the most exciting teams the NBA has ever seen year after year. But you can spend your whole life saying “what if?” I think it is time to move on and start anew. Of course, I don’t blame you for hating the Spurs because nobody likes them.
3. Philadelphia Eagles fans- Who do you think you are? You take rooting for your team to a whole new level of atrociousness. You cheer the injuries of opposing teams’ players as they are carted off the field. You booed Santa Claus and threw snowballs at him for crying out loud. Mark my words…These actions will not go unpunished. Oh yeah, good luck with Michael Vick.
4. Utah Utes fans- Because I just don’t like you. I don’t need a reason, do I? It’s all in fun though…mostly
5. Dave Matthews Band Fans – yep. Oh, and can you believe we have to listen to him and Kenny Chesney this whole football season? Ugh…
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