BYU 42- Colorado State 23
The events staff stayed extra late on Saturday evening to mop up the Ram's blood from the altar of Lavell. BYU combined a huge day by Harvey Unga (113 yards rushing and 3 touchdowns) with some good defense to take a 21-0 lead in the first quarter. They blocked a punt and Max Hall even ran for a touchdown.
Colorado State seemed happy to pick on Brian Logan, the 5’6” cornerback. That seemed to be their game plan from the very beginning of the game. I will say, though, that he was equal to the task for the majority of the game, intercepting one pass and making an abundance of tackles, despite having 2 pass interference penalties against him and giving up 2 touchdowns. However, it got me to thinking. Why pick on the little guy? Does that make you feel bigger CSU? And what is BYU, or Brian Logan himself, going to do about it next week when they play the “oh-so-explosive” offense of Utah State? Is Aggie blood as easy to clean up as Ram blood? These are the questions people...
Another thing that I am sick of is the amount of sponsors at the game. I pretty much threw up in my mouth, it was so vile and sell-outish. How many corporate mentions do we have to make?
• Nuskin scoreboard
• First Credit Union 1st first down of the game
• Geneva Rock Hard Hit of the Half
• Replays by Carl’s Jr.
• Papa John’s pizza giveaway
• Best Buy Shuffle game that is totally rigged
• BYU t-shirts by APX alams
• Ben and Jerry’s ice cream throw
• 3rd down defensive stops by Sonic
• Some dumb racing video thing by Chevron, also rigged, even worse than a Las Vegas slot
• Therm-wise Thermostats by somebody
• 3rd down conversions by Dennis Pitta (actually by some company I can’t remember)
You get the picture. Just wait, pretty soon the stadium will be renamed the Missionary Mall Stadium, we’ll have individually sponsored seats, and the football players will have to wear large hot dog and hamburger costumes and pass out flyers at halftime. Obviously college football is a huge draw and the university wants to capitalize on the attention, but the game is starting to become a constant commercial with no way to change the channel.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Bitter Disappointment
Florida St. 54- BYU 28
We are now 18-1 in our last 19 home games. I guess that's what we get for taking out Sam Bradford (part Cherokee). The Seminoles look out for their own. But, before I start writing the most depressing recap in my long career of writing recaps (3 weeks), I just want to say that the Cougars weren’t the only ones overlooking the game. Yes, I too thought the game would be a blowout (only in favor of BYU). I even started writing this recap before the game started. If that’s not jinxing the home team, I don’t know what is (voodoo dolls). So, I apologize to the Cougars.
Now, back to the actual game. Chronic depression away! ~
Well, here are some thoughts about the game.
• Florida State’s running backs must have been very slippery or else we would have tackled them a little more often.
• Scrambling quarterback = Instant defensive collapse.
• Cue up the generic announcer #1 - “You just can’t win when you turn the ball over 6 times and give up over 300 yards on the ground.”
Generic announcer #2 – “No, Bill, you can’t. Back to the guys in the studio.”
• They never threw deep on us the entire game. They did, to BYU, what the Cougars normally do to other teams. They just gained 4 yards per play. Let me tell you, that was frustrating.
• To O’Neill Chambers and anyone else who thinks fumbling the ball is okay - Do you know that they make gloves that are really sticky? Just throwing that out there.
• The refs didn't start to call holding until the game was out of hand. Our linebacker was dragging a guy all the way to the quarterback right in front of the ref. Nothing. But it was totally lame for all the BYU fans to boo the refs as they left at half time. Show some class Cougars! (Note: I did yell at the refs after that blatantly missed call. But I feel bad about it. So I apologize officials... I know it must be hard to have everyone hate you.)
At least…
• The offensive line looked good. Really good. Florida St. didn’t start getting pressure on Hall until late in the game (after we had already lost).
• Harvey Unga had almost 100 yards against a good defense in his first real action of the year.
Final Thoughts-
• Why did our band keep playing that song that sounds like the other team’s fight song? That didn't help at all. In fact, the band pretty much made every situation worse, starting with the half time Star Trek debacle. Oh yeah and what’s with playing songs written 50 years ago (Hey Baby)? Can we please get a little more relevant music? How about from the last 30 years? We can go back to the 80’s, but only for the hair bands. But you can't go as far as Oklahoma St. and their new fight song, which can be heard here: http://www.johnmartinlive.com/cowboys-forever
• Okay…once and for all I would like to dispel the oh-so-prevalent rumors that the Cougars are old women. Just because these women make up a greater proportion of the population than do the actual BYU players doesn’t mean that we are intertwined. In fact, we condemn them for their shameful behavior towards younger men. So there you have it… They may only be known as HOBs (copyright Joel McHale)
• To that guy who I have seen everywhere on campus but have never met- Who are you to tell me to put my sign down? I have the right to cheer for #87 Ocho Siete whenever I like. Even if Bronco didn’t let him play. Come on coach!
We are now 18-1 in our last 19 home games. I guess that's what we get for taking out Sam Bradford (part Cherokee). The Seminoles look out for their own. But, before I start writing the most depressing recap in my long career of writing recaps (3 weeks), I just want to say that the Cougars weren’t the only ones overlooking the game. Yes, I too thought the game would be a blowout (only in favor of BYU). I even started writing this recap before the game started. If that’s not jinxing the home team, I don’t know what is (voodoo dolls). So, I apologize to the Cougars.
Now, back to the actual game. Chronic depression away! ~
Well, here are some thoughts about the game.
• Florida State’s running backs must have been very slippery or else we would have tackled them a little more often.
• Scrambling quarterback = Instant defensive collapse.
• Cue up the generic announcer #1 - “You just can’t win when you turn the ball over 6 times and give up over 300 yards on the ground.”
Generic announcer #2 – “No, Bill, you can’t. Back to the guys in the studio.”
• They never threw deep on us the entire game. They did, to BYU, what the Cougars normally do to other teams. They just gained 4 yards per play. Let me tell you, that was frustrating.
• To O’Neill Chambers and anyone else who thinks fumbling the ball is okay - Do you know that they make gloves that are really sticky? Just throwing that out there.
• The refs didn't start to call holding until the game was out of hand. Our linebacker was dragging a guy all the way to the quarterback right in front of the ref. Nothing. But it was totally lame for all the BYU fans to boo the refs as they left at half time. Show some class Cougars! (Note: I did yell at the refs after that blatantly missed call. But I feel bad about it. So I apologize officials... I know it must be hard to have everyone hate you.)
At least…
• The offensive line looked good. Really good. Florida St. didn’t start getting pressure on Hall until late in the game (after we had already lost).
• Harvey Unga had almost 100 yards against a good defense in his first real action of the year.
Final Thoughts-
• Why did our band keep playing that song that sounds like the other team’s fight song? That didn't help at all. In fact, the band pretty much made every situation worse, starting with the half time Star Trek debacle. Oh yeah and what’s with playing songs written 50 years ago (Hey Baby)? Can we please get a little more relevant music? How about from the last 30 years? We can go back to the 80’s, but only for the hair bands. But you can't go as far as Oklahoma St. and their new fight song, which can be heard here: http://www.johnmartinlive.com/cowboys-forever
• Okay…once and for all I would like to dispel the oh-so-prevalent rumors that the Cougars are old women. Just because these women make up a greater proportion of the population than do the actual BYU players doesn’t mean that we are intertwined. In fact, we condemn them for their shameful behavior towards younger men. So there you have it… They may only be known as HOBs (copyright Joel McHale)
• To that guy who I have seen everywhere on campus but have never met- Who are you to tell me to put my sign down? I have the right to cheer for #87 Ocho Siete whenever I like. Even if Bronco didn’t let him play. Come on coach!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Everyday observation (happens once every 2 or three days)
So I got some beef with the Macintosh commercials. Not just normal beef, this is like Angus beef or beef from an African wildebeest. We are talking serious beef.
Now that that's out of the way... Why does the hip young Mac dude hang out with the creepy older middle aged nerd PC guy? I mean, he's got to have something for him, otherwise he would just ditch the place and go skatebording or party it up or something else! Anything else! This guy is a loser!
I thought about taking the "He's gay and harboring a secret unrequited love for the PC guy" angle for a bit (2 seconds), but that's too obvious. I also considered that he might have received a court order to volunteer at a local orphanage, and the director (PC guy) is a nutjob who loves to create situations where two opposites collide and he can never compete in the witty exchange of... wits, but that would be way WAY the flip too complicated.
So I settled on a variation of the first one. The Mac guy obviously loves PCs. He just can't stay away from them. But if you endorse a product as a "celebrity" you are required to use the endorsed product. So what does the Mac guy do? He hangs out with a PC guy all darn day! He hardly ever talks, but hangs on to PCs every word, only offering up the occasional remark so the Mac boss doesn't get suspicious and lock him in the factory (temperature - 98.6, so the robots can get accustomed to human body temperature and make it easier for them to inhabit clones. Of this I am sure). I'm pretty sure he's tried to smell PC too. Creepy!
So in case you haven't noticed, this post had nothing to do with sports. Oops! And if you really didn't notice, then you didn't read it. Or couldn't read it! Ha!
*note to those who can't read: I'm sorry about that statement I made previously. Although not really... cause you probably can't read this either.
If you didn't like my hypothesis (hypothesiseses.. hypothesi... ?) then feel free to make your own in the comment section.
OUT!
P.S. And none of these "Mac rooles! Macbook pro air 360 Mctwist fo liiiiife!" comments. We know and loathe how you feel. Same for you PCs. (Ha! Like that would ever happen!)
Now that that's out of the way... Why does the hip young Mac dude hang out with the creepy older middle aged nerd PC guy? I mean, he's got to have something for him, otherwise he would just ditch the place and go skatebording or party it up or something else! Anything else! This guy is a loser!
I thought about taking the "He's gay and harboring a secret unrequited love for the PC guy" angle for a bit (2 seconds), but that's too obvious. I also considered that he might have received a court order to volunteer at a local orphanage, and the director (PC guy) is a nutjob who loves to create situations where two opposites collide and he can never compete in the witty exchange of... wits, but that would be way WAY the flip too complicated.
So I settled on a variation of the first one. The Mac guy obviously loves PCs. He just can't stay away from them. But if you endorse a product as a "celebrity" you are required to use the endorsed product. So what does the Mac guy do? He hangs out with a PC guy all darn day! He hardly ever talks, but hangs on to PCs every word, only offering up the occasional remark so the Mac boss doesn't get suspicious and lock him in the factory (temperature - 98.6, so the robots can get accustomed to human body temperature and make it easier for them to inhabit clones. Of this I am sure). I'm pretty sure he's tried to smell PC too. Creepy!
So in case you haven't noticed, this post had nothing to do with sports. Oops! And if you really didn't notice, then you didn't read it. Or couldn't read it! Ha!
*note to those who can't read: I'm sorry about that statement I made previously. Although not really... cause you probably can't read this either.
If you didn't like my hypothesis (hypothesiseses.. hypothesi... ?) then feel free to make your own in the comment section.
OUT!
P.S. And none of these "Mac rooles! Macbook pro air 360 Mctwist fo liiiiife!" comments. We know and loathe how you feel. Same for you PCs. (Ha! Like that would ever happen!)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Bro-mances
2. Matt Payne- The Fall of 2004 was my first year at college and I was “ready for some football” (Copyright-Annoying cowboy who sings at the beginning of every Monday Night Football Game). Unfortunately, BYU was downright abysmal at football. With nothing else to grab hold of, I threw caution to the wind and turned to the best player we had, our kicker.
During that year, no other player toyed with my emotions quite like Matt Payne. Kickers in modern times are characterized by being incredibly slow, weak, and generally less athletic than the average person. Matt Payne broke that mold. Much to the chagrin of opposing kick returners, Matt delivered some devastating punishment to anyone who dared return a punt more than 20 yards. He was the bright spot in an otherwise dull season. He even threw a touchdown pass on a fake field goal. They pulled the “bring on the kicking team but leave one player next to the sideline so the other team can’t see him right away and then throw to him before the defense figures it out” trick. Only I was cheering so loud that I almost gave the play away to the other team because I was so excited we were going to try something other than kick a short field goal.
In an ironic twist of fate, his downfall was his kicking. Considered to be one of the best kickers in the nation because of his amazing leg strength, he struggled at times with inaccuracy and occasionally missed big field goals. Nonetheless, Matt brought the Payne (pun intended) on this particular Boise State return man not once, but twice. Check out #38 at the 2:19 mark of this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YO9R8v9Sks&feature=related
During that year, no other player toyed with my emotions quite like Matt Payne. Kickers in modern times are characterized by being incredibly slow, weak, and generally less athletic than the average person. Matt Payne broke that mold. Much to the chagrin of opposing kick returners, Matt delivered some devastating punishment to anyone who dared return a punt more than 20 yards. He was the bright spot in an otherwise dull season. He even threw a touchdown pass on a fake field goal. They pulled the “bring on the kicking team but leave one player next to the sideline so the other team can’t see him right away and then throw to him before the defense figures it out” trick. Only I was cheering so loud that I almost gave the play away to the other team because I was so excited we were going to try something other than kick a short field goal.
In an ironic twist of fate, his downfall was his kicking. Considered to be one of the best kickers in the nation because of his amazing leg strength, he struggled at times with inaccuracy and occasionally missed big field goals. Nonetheless, Matt brought the Payne (pun intended) on this particular Boise State return man not once, but twice. Check out #38 at the 2:19 mark of this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YO9R8v9Sks&feature=related
Sunday, September 13, 2009
More like the Green Puddle
# 9 BYU 54- Tulane 3
So much for overlooking Tulane. This game was over when Tulane scored its first points. After settling for field goals on their first two possessions, Max Hall and the Cougars kicked the offense into overdrive by scoring touchdowns on 7 of its next 8 drives while the defense forced 4 turnovers in another dominating performance. The only misstep on offense was an interception by Hall but the defense held strong once again forcing a three and out followed by the offense moving the length of the field for a TD showing that Max Hall wasn’t about to let that mistake get the best of him and ruin an otherwise scintillating performance.
MVPs- While Hall was masterful at quarterback, it was the running game that blew me away. Brian Kariya showed that last week’s performance was no fluke as he filled in nicely for Harvey Unga, who played sparingly (really hurting his per game rushing stats). Kariya and former California High School Player of the Year, J.J. Di Luigi combined for over 170 yards of total offense and 4 touchdowns. For the second straight week, the offensive line did a great job of blocking. They are for real!
Oh yeah, no more falsities about Max Hall's inability to move around in the pocket or scramble for first downs. He is perfectly capable of making plays with his feet. I think this game proved that to some extent. Haters Bewaaaaare!
NEXT WEEK: Home for Florida State! My one bit of advice to Cougar Fans- Wear a blue shirt or sweater to the game. What is with you people wearing pink and yellow to a BYU game? Those are not our colours. Also, I give you permission to belittle anyone not wearing the hue of the home team at the game. No one in that stadium, other than the visitors, should don a color other than blue. We could really show those Floridians what football is all about by having a sea of navy adorn our stadium. It will create a more intimidating atmosphere. So please, wear blue!
So much for overlooking Tulane. This game was over when Tulane scored its first points. After settling for field goals on their first two possessions, Max Hall and the Cougars kicked the offense into overdrive by scoring touchdowns on 7 of its next 8 drives while the defense forced 4 turnovers in another dominating performance. The only misstep on offense was an interception by Hall but the defense held strong once again forcing a three and out followed by the offense moving the length of the field for a TD showing that Max Hall wasn’t about to let that mistake get the best of him and ruin an otherwise scintillating performance.
MVPs- While Hall was masterful at quarterback, it was the running game that blew me away. Brian Kariya showed that last week’s performance was no fluke as he filled in nicely for Harvey Unga, who played sparingly (really hurting his per game rushing stats). Kariya and former California High School Player of the Year, J.J. Di Luigi combined for over 170 yards of total offense and 4 touchdowns. For the second straight week, the offensive line did a great job of blocking. They are for real!
Oh yeah, no more falsities about Max Hall's inability to move around in the pocket or scramble for first downs. He is perfectly capable of making plays with his feet. I think this game proved that to some extent. Haters Bewaaaaare!
NEXT WEEK: Home for Florida State! My one bit of advice to Cougar Fans- Wear a blue shirt or sweater to the game. What is with you people wearing pink and yellow to a BYU game? Those are not our colours. Also, I give you permission to belittle anyone not wearing the hue of the home team at the game. No one in that stadium, other than the visitors, should don a color other than blue. We could really show those Floridians what football is all about by having a sea of navy adorn our stadium. It will create a more intimidating atmosphere. So please, wear blue!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Bro-mances
1. Matt Jones- The honor of being the first ever bromance on 3rd and Pitta will be given to my very first love. Unfortunately this bromance is slowly fading with the events that have transpired over the last year or so *cough crack cocaine cough cough*. I will however dedicate this section to the greatness that once was while he attended the University of Arkansas.
How I remember Matt ~
Image from wreckedcelebrity.com
Not how I remember Matt~
Image from http://www.arktimes.com/, edited by Austin
How could a 6’6” “white guy” from Arkansas run by all the great defenses boasted by rival SEC schools and then play basketball for the Razorbacks in his spare time? All I know is that I will reminisce about the memories of dazzling runs and seven-overtime victories, not those of his misdeeds.
*1st Note from Austin: This was his email password for the longest time. Way easy to figure out.
*2nd Note from Austin: For the record, I currently do not have any "mances" of any kind, especially not with bros.
How I remember Matt ~
Image from wreckedcelebrity.com
Not how I remember Matt~
How could a 6’6” “white guy” from Arkansas run by all the great defenses boasted by rival SEC schools and then play basketball for the Razorbacks in his spare time? All I know is that I will reminisce about the memories of dazzling runs and seven-overtime victories, not those of his misdeeds.
*1st Note from Austin: This was his email password for the longest time. Way easy to figure out.
*2nd Note from Austin: For the record, I currently do not have any "mances" of any kind, especially not with bros.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
The UPSET!!!
BYU 14- Oklahoma 13
After trailing the first 56 minutes of the game, Max Hall directed the game winning drive with multiple 3rd down completions to Dennis the menace Pitta (no pun intended). Hall found McKay Jacobson in the back of the end zone with just over three minutes left to take a one point lead. The BYU defense, led by the soul-jarring hits of Andrew Rich, showed that it could hold one of the best offenses in college football to just 13 points. 13 bleeping points! Also, the offensive line (and especially Iron Giant [Michelin Man?] Terence Brown) stuffed rags and feet in the mouths of their doubters with an outstanding game.
SOG (Saviour of the Game) - As our committee of two thoroughly debated this decision (estimated time: 5 seconds), we came up with our nomination for most valuable player of the first game of the football season. This week’s winner is: Coleby “the Claw” (grrr) Clawson, with honorable mention given to the inspiration to our blog, Dennis Pitta, for his uncanny ability to sustain drives on, not only 3rd downs, but 4th downs, too.
“The Claw” (grrr) deserves this award for his dramatic hit on former Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford that forced him out for the second half. Without his valiant effort, the Cougars may not have emerged victorious from the first official game played at Cowboys Stadium*.
*We are obligated to inform you that the Dallas Cowboys stadium is the most expensive stadium with the largest scoreboard in the universe and has been brought to you by Jerry Jones. Quit crying about the big *** video board. It was like 100 bajillion dollars.
P.S. We wish Sam Bradford a speedy recovery (there were some sweet hits out there though). And you too Harvey Unga and Matt Bauman.
After trailing the first 56 minutes of the game, Max Hall directed the game winning drive with multiple 3rd down completions to Dennis the menace Pitta (no pun intended). Hall found McKay Jacobson in the back of the end zone with just over three minutes left to take a one point lead. The BYU defense, led by the soul-jarring hits of Andrew Rich, showed that it could hold one of the best offenses in college football to just 13 points. 13 bleeping points! Also, the offensive line (and especially Iron Giant [Michelin Man?] Terence Brown) stuffed rags and feet in the mouths of their doubters with an outstanding game.
SOG (Saviour of the Game) - As our committee of two thoroughly debated this decision (estimated time: 5 seconds), we came up with our nomination for most valuable player of the first game of the football season. This week’s winner is: Coleby “the Claw” (grrr) Clawson, with honorable mention given to the inspiration to our blog, Dennis Pitta, for his uncanny ability to sustain drives on, not only 3rd downs, but 4th downs, too.
“The Claw” (grrr) deserves this award for his dramatic hit on former Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford that forced him out for the second half. Without his valiant effort, the Cougars may not have emerged victorious from the first official game played at Cowboys Stadium*.
*We are obligated to inform you that the Dallas Cowboys stadium is the most expensive stadium with the largest scoreboard in the universe and has been brought to you by Jerry Jones. Quit crying about the big *** video board. It was like 100 bajillion dollars.
P.S. We wish Sam Bradford a speedy recovery (there were some sweet hits out there though). And you too Harvey Unga and Matt Bauman.
Hey Everybody
This is the blog for Austin and Alex. We are two BYU students who are severely disaffected with the way that sports are reported today. Well, maybe just a little disappointed... er, well, we just want to make our own stories about the sports that we love and/or hate.
Now, we know what you all are thinking: "These kids are going to be totally biased! And this is going to be 100% about BYU!" FALSE. This will be 90% about BYU, and we will only be mostly biased.
While coming up with names for our blog, we were lodged in a lexiconical quandary. We had massive amounts of trouble here. We spent more time on this than we did on school (which was probably about 10 minutes). Our first name was "Reality Checkmate." It would of been a good name for a CNN report, but a little chess clubby for us. Next we had "Jim Rome wasn't built in a day." Jim Rome can take this next sentence however he wants: We don't like him. So that name was out. Finally, we came up with "The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants." Nope. We needed something that held to our BYU heritage while keeping up the sports theme. And like a tank speeding down a mountain, "3rd and Pitta," our theme from the last football season, exploded in front of us, sending face shrapnel across the room.
So, like Dennis Pitta saves the drive every third down, we are here to save YOU from the drudgery of modern sports reporting, by delivering the most intelligent, the most entertaining, and the most relevant reports on OUR teams!
Now, we know what you all are thinking: "These kids are going to be totally biased! And this is going to be 100% about BYU!" FALSE. This will be 90% about BYU, and we will only be mostly biased.
While coming up with names for our blog, we were lodged in a lexiconical quandary. We had massive amounts of trouble here. We spent more time on this than we did on school (which was probably about 10 minutes). Our first name was "Reality Checkmate." It would of been a good name for a CNN report, but a little chess clubby for us. Next we had "Jim Rome wasn't built in a day." Jim Rome can take this next sentence however he wants: We don't like him. So that name was out. Finally, we came up with "The Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants." Nope. We needed something that held to our BYU heritage while keeping up the sports theme. And like a tank speeding down a mountain, "3rd and Pitta," our theme from the last football season, exploded in front of us, sending face shrapnel across the room.
So, like Dennis Pitta saves the drive every third down, we are here to save YOU from the drudgery of modern sports reporting, by delivering the most intelligent, the most entertaining, and the most relevant reports on OUR teams!
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