Sports Fans (Part 1)

Lately I have been somewhat quizzical about fans and their bizarre behaviour (alliteration). There are an abundance of different classes of fans and they need to be categorized. Now I won’t get into how much these fans care or anything of that sort because although there are obviously different levels, that would take too much time (and I have already wasted enough coming up with these). So, here it goes:

1. Root for hometown team- In this situation, you like the team that you grow up around. These people are usually loyal to said team come what may.
2. Cheer for old man’s team- This is a common trend throughout the nation especially among fathers who are devout followers of their favorite teams. Sons all over the world want to be like their fathers. So a word to all the Dads out there- Don’t be bandwagon fans!
3. Cheer against old man’s team- This is particularly appalling behavior and you would have to be a real creep to go and do something like this. Oh, and to all you ladies who think it is fun to torment your husband by cheering for the opposing team- Shame on you!
4. Bandwagon- You have no soul...that means you Utes fans!
5. Root for local team- This occurs when you move a lot and you want to fit in with the crowd. I guess there's nothing wrong with being a sheep.
6. Team with your favorite player- This happens often if there is someone you know personally or fictitiously because they went to your favorite university.
7. Girls- Now girls have their own section. Most women, if they even follow teams, do so based on the cute guy or because they like the colors. Some even wear pink jerseys to the games because their boyfriend is Tony Romo. While I realize this is a hasty generalization, I don’t really care because here at 3rd and Pitta we love perpetuating stereotypes.

However, I have noticed some strange, nay peculiar phenomenon (alliteration?) that don’t adhere to the list above. Apparently, there are some unwritten rules (and yes, I’m sure there are some rules written somewhere about sports fan-dom) about who you can cheer for. These are as follows:
• Hispanic male- you can be an Oakland Raiders fan just by the fact that you are from a Spanish-speaking country. Cool huh?
• Resident of Provo, UT- you can be a Boston Red Sox fan because, well I don’t know why but that’s the way it is apparently. I’m pretty this goes beyond just a hate for the Yankees, too.
• Religious fans- BYU, Notre Dame, Holy Cross, TCU, and many more (no offense meant to any left out)
• People in Memphis, TN- Well, because no one should have to root for the Grizzlies…they aren’t very good.
• Those native to the states of Montana, Wyoming, Idaho, the Dakotas, Iowa, Nebraska, Maine, Rhode Island, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Delaware, South Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi, New Mexico, Nevada, Hawaii, Alaska, and Arkansas- Don't worry, you obviously aren't alone and most of you have a college team to share your allegiances with.